10 January 2008

"Let me explain to you something"

This is what my Little Man says to me on Tuesday on the way to the doctor. From the backseat I get in a most serious voice, "Mommy, let me explain to you something". You have to first know my son. Most of our conversations are random. You never know what will come up. You might be talking monster trucks and from nowhere he will want to talk about the "Heavenly Fodder". So when he says this I brace myself. Mostly to laugh. I didn't know that what he would say would frustrate me, so though from the mommy adoring her son view it is hysterical to hear him say, from the I am his mommy view I want to throttle his father.
Anyway, what he wanted me to know is that he doesn't want to call his step-mother Mom. This bothers him and comes up regularly. So, I am going to put it out there. So, in Little Man's words "Let me explain to you something". When someone spends every day loving, caring for, and being with this beautiful boy, when they bring him into this world, and change his diapers, and spend 5 hours a night holding him while he screams from colic, when they hold his hand in the ambulance, when they go to every school program, when they spend the whole night in the recliner so he doesn't have to lay flat and to help relieve the cough, when they EARN THE RIGHT to be his mommy, then he can call them mom!!!! Not until then. For now, they can be them, they can love him and be sweet to him, which they seem to be very good at, they can wrap his presents, and can hug and kiss him. He can love and adore them, I am okay with that (and he does, and their love and kindness to him is appreciated). I am not okay with anyone confusing him or trying to get him to call someone else mom. Sure, if I were not a good one, or if I were not here for him, if I were to die, then when he felt ready he could call that person mom. But I am a good mom, I am here for him, and I am not yet dead.
Since this has come up more than once a week for several months now, I have addressed it. It needs to be known that my Little Man has his own father figure here everyday that does all the things that would more than earn him the right to be called dad. More than his actual dad does, however, that word DAD, it's already reserved and unless my son wakes up one day and asks to call another person DAD, it will be left alone. It's just not a place you go. So, DON'T GO THERE!
Now this MOMMY is going to go hold her sick baby and rub his back and kiss his cheeks and watch horrible cartoons all day until he feels better... We are even going to cuddle under our special blanket and maybe even sleep a little. If I am lucky I will get through the not feel good part and get to hear his laugh... if not, it will be there tomorrow and it will be the sweetest reward!

1 comment:

retha said...

I am so sorry to hear about your Little Man!! Hope you get some rest during the night and he will be full of laughs in the morning.

I agree whole heartedly with you about the Mom subject. The fact that he says he does not want to show how you have built and allowed him to be himself!
So good to have a mother that is willing and do come up for you.