07 February 2007

Help Me Out...

I do need a little help...okay, a LOT of help! I have decided to quit smoking...not for anyone else but myself. Of course I want to do this for my babies too, but ultimately it is for me...problem is- it is REALLY hard. Not only that but I have always had my cigarettes with a cup of coffee...no cigarettes means essentially no coffee...that is 2 addictions at once!!!! I have had a puff off of a cigarette...total in the last 2 days (my quit date was Monday) equals 1 1/2 cigarettes. Though, if I am to be completely honest...if at any time I had been offered or had found a cigarette somewhere, you can bet I would have smoked it! I would like you to know that at this very second I would love a cigarette...I am in the middle of a big time craving. I am of course going to feed this craving with food, as I have been all week (all 2 days of it- which feels like a century) and will probably gain 40 pounds during this adventure...
Am I insane to think that I would rather be smoking (which equals HAPPY) than to gain more weight? I am thinking that if it gets too bad I can always light up...you know smoke again! I know...I am not setting my sights on success here. I truly am going mad right now. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PRAY FOR ME!!!!

A moment of sweetness...today when I came into work (because I have been off the last 2 days that feel like an eternity due to my baby girl being sick...) my desk was covered...LITERALLY, with low fat chips, candy, 6 kinds of gum (the multi packs like from walmart) and puzzle books. All things to help me beat the cravings. There are also carrots and celery in my office fridge. Is that not the sweetest thing ever? They all came from my friend andy . What a treat he is!
Well more in a bit, as I am sure you will be hearing a lot from me!

4 comments:

AVIDINHA said...

i know you can do it bek! i have faith in you. you can count on me for anything you need, even if it's just for me to go away.

Susie said...

Bekah,
I think you've found your own solution: Pray!
Of course your friends will join you in that prayer. Not smoking is a wonderful gift you can give yourself and your family.
Good luck!

Anonymous said...

You are so the bomb!!!! Go girl Go!!! You can do it!!!!
love ya,
dawn

Anonymous said...

I hope that you stop smoking... it is a really WONDERFUL thing YOU CAN DO IT!!!!!! :)
LOVE,
Chantell:)